So,
I was just sitting here in my office thinking to my self. I am 30 years old and I have not made a name for myself in History. Growing up I never ever felt normal, I just knew that I will do something remarkable to be known world wide. I wasn't the cutest girl in school with the big boobs, big butt, long hair and when I was coming up everyone wanted a yellow bone. So I saw myself the way others "I thought" saw me. I was quite and to myself. Through life I just didn't fit in anywhere not just at school but everywhere (mall, collage, church, etc.). I had a hard time making friends and keeping them. Relationships would start off great then next thing I know, I wasn't liked by her anymore. So this type of thing just kept happening, so I ask God in a journal to him, why don't no one like me. Its easy for me to Love people, to encourage people, but I don't get it back at me. Lord What is up?
I know in your word you said "They will hate you, like they hated me".
I still didn't listen. So I continue to email, text, etc, email, text, email, text, email,,,,,,,, until I literally drove myself crazy. I stop being able to sleep, my mind wouldn't stop, I was yelling, I hated myself, I started doing things I shouldn't been doing, I used to ask my husband , "Baby what did I do to these crazy, low self-esteem, back stabbing woman, that they don't like me!"
My husband would say "Baby, you know you don't be doing anything, you don't hangout with people to gossip, you are nice, you pray for them, you bend over backward just to give a compliment, and you actually are genuine. If they don't like you then they are missing out, you have 2 sons, 1 on the way, and Me, what else do you need". Still
I didn't listen to him. I was messing up my marriage. I was so bitter inside, The people that I thought I could trust and I'm talking about older people that you think would be done with all the silly games, Started showing there true colors. So now I am mad because these woman that calls there selves "Christians", go behind my back and talk. And How do I know, Because I am chosen and God tells me stuff that I try not to hear and have closed my ears to all my life.
So I'm in my car and I HAVE A BREAKDOWN, I yell "LORD WHY ME". He says to me. "Because I love you and have so much in store for you, I cant keep people around you that will stop my plans I have for you. I am tired of people being Religious and trying to Pimp me. They call me when they need me, then when I answer they go right back. I want allow you to fail me. Once I put you on, there will be no turning back. You been hurt, you been lied on, you been betrayed, and you are broken right now. But all of this is for my Glory. I want you to be so fed up that you want take no more of the enemy mess. You win! He lose. R U READY?" and I said "Yes".
Its my time, God has humbled me, So now I am on the road to Glory and I aint letting no Judas in hell Stop me. You can love me or move around, but I am finally going to be who God has called me to be. I realize that if someone is liked by everyone then something is just not right.
Matthew 10:22 "You will be hated by everyone because of me, but the one who stands firm to the end will be saved."
AND THATS WHAT JESUS SAID HIMSELF!!!!
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